why do i make this list. coz i am a specialist at this.
- Now come on…do not give up on ‘loving’ some one because others think its not good for you. its very simple to understand, others are NOT living your life. you want to spend 10 years being in love this way, do that, stick to your feelings. BUT for your own sake, whether a relationship is working out or not working out or is about to work out or will never work out, be in touch with your REAL feelings on a regular and very honest basis. because your love and your relationships (of any kind) are about you. so don’t fool or delude yourself… it’s best for EVERYONE that way.
- don’t be in a hurry to get over. no seriously, at least understand why you fell for her or him this way. and what exactly is the nature of these feelings. don’t get stuck into jargon though. i always get stuck in slotting, what you call it is not important. but understanding WHY is.
- hmmm….this one is the toughest and most painful. i think. whether you are in this situation because that person loves someone else or is single (and maybe even ‘looking’) the thing is that unless he/she has the inclination/guts/sensitivity to communicate to you the interest or the disinterest, do NOT assume that there is a relationship. try leaving the ‘reading between the lines’ to poetry classes. will elaborate that in a latter point. okay this point deserves many sub points:
- the thing is that 99% of the time, if he/she is in another relationship, that is not what is stopping from him/her from getting together with you. no really. if he/she is interested despite the relationship, let him/her come and say this to you. don’t be daft and do not blame the spouse. the spouse has NOTHING to do with your feelings. that also reminds me to point out, ‘ what is it in her/him that he/she likes him/her better is soooo soooo futile and illogical, it is not even funny. how do i know this. because i am a specialist, remember. hmmm…unless this man/woman you are in love was actually doing ‘inky pinky ponky, father had a donkey’ over your head and his/her spouse and then chose that spouse in question then darling, your sweetie is the DONKEY, his/her father had! okay? so you do NOT lack anything the other person has. and its a BRILLIANT idea to look around and think of the person whose unrequited love you are! see, how you do not like him/her despite him/her being so nice, the same thing applies your unrequited love also.
- hmm about that reading between the lines. now if she/he asks you to pass him/her water, it REALLY means that. REALLY REALLY. it does not mean ‘ quench my parched existence’. Or if a person says ‘ you are a good friend’ it does not mean ‘letsgetmarriedhavebabiesandbehappyforever’ or even ‘iamcallingyouafriendbecauseiamtooscaredtoaskyoutohavehotsexwithme’ because if that is what he/she wanted to say, that is what he/she will say. you do NOT want a person who doesn’t know basic English/Hindi/Punjabi or whichever human language you communicate in. How do i know this. Because I do!do! not look for salacious details that you can laugh over in this post. HAHA
4. just because you love/adore/in lust over/infatuated by/admire/respect/obsessed by this person, that person does not owe you love!!!! he/she does not owe you any of the above mentioned feelings in combination or individually. you do NOT want love to be OWED to to you. you do not. you do not.you do not!
5. its so tempting to indulge in self pity. and i suggest indulge. but in private maybe. since at the moment, your feelings are only your business. and your head/heartache. sharing it with blogs/friend/friendship status is okay i guess but EXPECTING other person to pity on you because you say ‘what’s wrong with me’ 14563409 times. ‘gawd i am so unlucky’ 7652310 times with a sigh (now we know why its snowing in delhi, it’s not global warming it is your SIGHS!) is silly! if it is not humiliating then maybe you need dictionary.com because it is supposed to be humiliating. you can eventually/always can live without this person. so his rejection/scorn/insulting /patronising remark you can get over. but you cannot live without yourself, so don’t do it. at least try. no one learns to love another person in one day, it’s a long process, so it’s okay if you don’t get loving yourself on the very first day! but try. do not say ‘love me because i am so needy/pathetic’ things because whether or not you get this person, either ways you will regret this.
this is all i can think of at the moment.
i can also please please please suggest three amazing reads in this direction :
Revolution from Within by Gloria Steinem
The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein
and
this i suggest a little reluctantly but i don’t think this is only for women. i think its just talks about the delusions we live with. i half agree with the book. and i half disagree with the book. i agree that we delude ourselves in so many ways because we don’t know/aknowledge/express our true worth but i do not agree that ALL men are such shallow bastards. maybe some are. but the so are so women, so there! so read it for fun and some wisdom. Here
He is Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt,Liz Tuccillo and Lauren Monchik.
P.s not that i have any kind of readers at the moment so this is rather presumptitious but if someone shares this without pinging back to me then that person will ALWAYS have unrequited love all his/her life. this is my curse! Hah!
